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Writing the thoughts in my head

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I need to talk. I need to get the thoughts across and out of my head. My head is so full of emotion and depression that I feel like writing is the only way that I can deal with it all. We live in a time where the world is pissed at everything and everyone. We can’t agree on how to be good people. Hell some can’t even agree that we’re all human. We have people who want to murder others for being different, for preaching another religion, for money, revenge, completely stupid reasons. It’s depressing.

 

The only thing we can all agree on is that we want happiness. Not just happy with what we are or have at the end of the day, but just the fact that we are satisfied. The problem of course is in the how do we become happy?

A particular example is the North Korean leader. What does it take to make a psychopath happy when all he’s known growing up is that we are the bad guys? You have other countries who are trying to do the right thing for their people but are completely incapable of satisfying their needs.

The worst part about writing things down I find is that all I have is questions. I don’t have any answers. Nothing I would consider a real answer. My answer would be a fairy tale of sorts. One that could possibly be only written into a movie. The answer of mine? Just hope that everyone would just get along. What do we do to make that reality?

Collectively, we are (the human race) a species of unrefined wisdom. A wisdom of understanding that we are the species that has risen from a state of basic animal instinct. As I remember hearing in a TED talk once with Adam Savage, we are the only species on this planet has hasn’t evolved physically to fit into our environments. We more or less adapted our clothes to fit our environments.

You can’t just take a lion from an African Desert and drop it into the middle of the frozen tundra and expected to survive for very long. Through evolution, it could be possible of course but that could take some time. We as humans, we are capable of doing such things. So why is it so hard for all of us to just get along?

I think the problem doesn’t exist in our ability to adapt. We have been masters of that ability for thousands of years. I believe that it has something to do with our ability to accept. Acceptance of one another unconditionally.

I need more time to think on this and my brain is going a mile a minute so I’ll need to come back and collect my thoughts.

Till next time
-Charlie

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What to do?

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What’s up folks? It’s been a while since I’ve written in my blog. I have no idea who reads blogs anymore. Most of the time it’s the instant gratification of status updates on Facebook and Twitter that seem to get all of the attention these days.

Well I feel like I need to change all of that for myself and start writing again about things that matter to me. Like, for starters, why this world can’t agree on shit anymore? 

Anyways, I think I’m going to start working on a daily blog again and just write some stuff about how I’m doing and what I’m thinking about.

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Thank You David Bowie

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Life is a fleeting gift. It’s here for but a short moment in time. This morning was a tragic reminder of that as one of my heroes is gone. When I woke this morning, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I unlocked my phone and started going through all of my normal social media sites to see what’s new with the world. I noticed that everyone was sharing his music and it was glorious. It was just this passed Friday that we were singing the praises of his 69th birthday and that he was still working as hard as ever by releasing a new album “Blackstar.” I thought to myself then that he is every bit of the legend that he has built himself to be. The Goblin King was still ruling in his kingdom of music. However, that joy came to an end when I finally saw another post, “RIP David Bowie.” I couldn’t believe what I read. I had to load up the news to see for myself. Sadly, it was true. Here he was working till the end to spread his visions of music to all of us through so many decades.

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Like many around my age we knew very well of David Bowie as The Goblin King. David played this role with so much magic in his character that as a kid, even I wanted to be a Goblin King. How can the bad guy be such a loveable character? The answer is David Bowie.

Through the years (decades) David set the bar so high up when it came to challenging the norm in the music industry. Ziggy Stardust, Major Tom, Gray Clown, The Goblin King, Thin White Duke, the list goes on and on with the characters that he created to tell his story through the music.

He’s even been credited with challenging MTV in their early days asking why the channel was overly white. He even challenged sexuality. On top of all of that, he’s sung with so many greats. Freddie Mercury with Queen, Mick Jagger, Tina Turner, Lenny Kravitz, and Bing freaking Crosby!

It’s hard not to see that David Bowie had a strong influence on my life. It was ok to be different, so long as I owned it. So with that I have to say, thank you David Bowie. Thank you for being a force to be reckoned with. Goodbye.

Also, here’s a picture with David Bowie looking bad ass with some wolves from a few years ago.

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Where do I begin?

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So my life is completely different from where it was just a year ago. Many things have changed and my life is completely different. I’m most of the way through my fourth year living here on the mainland trying to make things work for myself. I have two adorable kitties to whom are the only thing I come home to. Well aside from my computer. :-P

I’ve been trying to look out toward the future but I have no idea what it has in store for me. At the same time though, I have no idea what to feed it to make it go the way I would hope to make it turn out in my favor. My life is full of hopes and dreams but nothing singularly to focus on. I have visions of many random things I would love to do but no idea which to do or work on. I want to do them all but no idea where to begin.

Do I go back to school?

Do I try to figure it all out on my own?

So many questions but the one thing that I’m thinking of doing is starting to write some fiction. I’ve been inspired lately by a community of fantasy lovers and they have done nothing but spark my love of story. I’ve always been into fantasy story telling as it’s a way for me to disconnect from the world but to write my own is a venture that I have no idea if I can make it happen. I’ve tried before and only got to two pages.

These guys though have totally inspired me to change all of that. It’s just a group of people playing D&D and loving every minute of it. Well until one of them get’s close to death and is in utter panic. They obviously bring a lot of life to the story being voice actors but the way they play with the story they are creating on the fly is absolutely magic. A better way to describe it is that they are performing at the highest level of Improv Theatre but at the same time just playing a game. Each character is played by each player fully based on their character’s backstory and stats. Each player does a wonderful job of being in that character and it just mystifies me and pulls me in even more. The dungeon master (Matt Mercer) does a wonderful job of pulling the whole story together using his knowledge of the game and lore making for an interesting platform for the players to play off of.

I had never really tried to get into Role Playing but I’ve known others who do and I didn’t think I could do it. I just thought it was just too much for me. That’s all changed now. After watching them go at it with such passion, enjoyment and laughter, I could totally do this. It looks like so much fun.

I’ll get on that later but first… I think it’s time to start coming up with ideas for a fiction that I would love to tell people. Wish me luck.

Also, thank you so much to Geek and Sundry for having a beautiful community for me to find out that I’m not alone in my geek-ness. LOL THANK YOU!

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Thoughts through words

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Questions have plagued my life as of late:

Why is in the world in the state that it’s in?
How can we let it be this way?
Who’s responsible for what has gone wrong?
Why do we care so much for others but do nothing unless it personally effects us?
Why do people complain more than take action?
Why do we let monetary currency dictate our lives?
How can we be one planet?
What steps can we take to make the world united?
When does the fighting stop?
What will it take to teach humanity to do what is right?
Why do we put education behind everything else?

I’m sure this isn’t the extent of the questions on my mind. There is a problem here and it’s the fact that these questions are something that just can’t be answered. I can always get an answer but it’ll never be right. It’ll always be opinion and theory. I believe I’m going to try and answer some of these questions with my own opinions/theories. You maybe asking, “what gives me the right to answer such questions?” I don’t have the right to be the spokesperson for any of it but I am someone who has lost all faith in this existence that is humanity.

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Goodbyes are always the hardest

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Goodbyes are the hardest thing to deal with in life. Whether they be friends, family, or someone you just met. Goodbye is that one thing that can bid someone a fond farewell on the hopes that you see that person again soon. Maybe someday it’ll be, “Hello.” However, there are times you never get that chance to say goodbye. Today is one of those days for me. I wish it wasn’t so, but the day that I was hoping to never hear has come. My grandma has been the strongest woman I have ever known. Her being gone now is a matter of disbelief for me because she was such a strong Hawaiian woman. She was someone who didn’t take shit from anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I’m so stubborn because of her. You could just tell that she had this amazing strength no one could compare to. In her last years, I no one could see that she grew tired and that strength was subsiding. However, she stayed stubborn anyways. Of the many things I loved about my grandmother was that she didn’t care what anybody thought. She had a strong will with God. God was there for her every step of the way no matter what the situation. She believed if she prayed hard enough God would be there to help you along. I’m glad that she was there to teach me some of the values that she held dear. It hurts so much to write down how I’m feeling right now but I know that in the end it is what she wanted. She was in so much pain the last time I saw her that I could tell she didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I don’t blame her though. She’s lived an amazingly long life.

I just wish I had the chance to say goodbye.

Goodbye Fanny Ki’a’ina-Chong.

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Things that I do in a Jenner

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There are just somethings that I can’t explain. However, being an annoying light I can explain. It’s just fun to be this annoying. Also, Pro-Tip: if the lights have the high ground and you are all bunched up standing there, a light will drop a strike on your ass. That is all :-Pjenner_love

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Two years and Counting

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So I’ve been in living in California for longer than some people gave me credit for. Truthfully I didn’t think I could do it either but look at me, I’m still here. So long as I got the support of Julia and all her love, things will be going good. I’m surround by great people who appreciate what I do. Having a unique voice for on-air and commercials also help a lot. Still not to happy about the desert but I am making the best of it.

Lately I’ve been looking to come back to web streaming with #shirtlesstuesdays but that hasn’t been very easy with my schedule. Another hurdle is that the site I used to use, “Stickam” is no longer available. The site went under due to funding probably. I stream pretty often on Twitch.tv when I’m playing games but that doesn’t have the same interaction that Stickam did. Ed White once suggested Google Hangouts and I might give it a try but I just wished it would recognize my typical stream settings. Audio Inputs and the like.

Oh wells, not much of an update as I got a lot on my plate to finish but if you want to keep up with my shenanigans then do follow me in the usual areas. Except KIK since someone already stole my username on there. >:-|

Here’s what I’ve shot since I’ve been living in the mainland:

Aloha