Sorry if this is a seriously depressing one for you all to read but I just need to put down my thoughts of late.
Recently my aunty died from cancer just two weeks ago (June 26, 2011) and tomorrow we will be having the funeral. I’ve been fighting to stay strong this whole time but I’m finding harder and harder to do so. The family has requested that my cousin (her daughter), my brother and I sing a few songs for her. It was a hard challenge to choose a song for such a wonderful person. She lived through a time when music was up lifting, heartfelt, produced by those who sang them, a time when it wasn’t just about making money, but telling a story.
Right now I’m listening to some classical piano jazz music (well in the style of it even though it is Final Fantasy Songs) to keep my head up. Tomorrow we’ll be singing, and I’m going to try my best to keep my head up for her. Right now I know that things are better for her and she is no longer in pain. I just hope that the music we sing will reach her and bring her peace.
If you are wondering the songs we are going to be singing, I choose C&K – About You and everyone remembered that she loved The Eagles – Best of My Love. Two great songs.I remember back in the days when I was still working with KUMU and we had C&K playing a show for us. Mandy said something that I will never forget, “Through all the years of C&K music, there will always be one song that they can relate themselves to.” I’ve thought about it and I have a few that I can relate to, and tomorrow I can add one more track of theirs to my list. I love that song and I know she did too.
It is just amazing how much music is a big part of my life. Probably before I was even born music has been a part of me. I may not be the perfect singer and I know it, but that doesn’t stop me from singing. I play mediocre at best, but my family is still proud of the fact that I can play instruments. I will always be proud of the fact that my family thinks of my brother and I when it comes to doing something special.
I am especially proud of all things that my aunty was capable of doing in the life she lived. Oh the stories and memories that we shared. It was interesting to hear all the stories of what growing up for her was like. I thought I was crazy in all the things that I do, but back in the day sounds like even better times. I think I barely scratched the surface of what can and is possible. I am glad that she got to enjoy so many things in life and that she fulfilled so many things. She has two wonderful daughters who I am happy to have as cousins. An amazing husband whom I cherish as an Uncle. (Sorry uncle Brian for not taking a beer the other day, but I got my health problems too lol. Thanks for the water though.)
As for the words I never had the chance to say:
Aunty Renee,
I love you. You have always been a big part of my life. As screwed up as we always think we Criscolas can be, it is in our screwed up ways that make us amazing people to be around. It was always a blast the whole family getting together talking story like a bunch of drunk potogees. It was all those good times that I will forever remember. It was all those good times that make me remember what a great person you were. You a light in my heart that I will never let go out till my very own last breathe. You are a big piece of my heart that shall always remain and will be there to remind me that good times are a simple story, joke, smile, and a laugh away.
I love you Aunty Renee Ige-Criscola
