What to do?

What’s up folks? It’s been a while since I’ve written in my blog. I have no idea who reads blogs anymore. Most of the time it’s the instant gratification of status updates on Facebook and Twitter that seem to get all of the attention these days.

Well I feel like I need to change all of that for myself and start writing again about things that matter to me. Like, for starters, why this world can’t agree on shit anymore? 

Anyways, I think I’m going to start working on a daily blog again and just write some stuff about how I’m doing and what I’m thinking about.

Thank You David Bowie

Life is a fleeting gift. It’s here for but a short moment in time. This morning was a tragic reminder of that as one of my heroes is gone. When I woke this morning, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I unlocked my phone and started going through all of my normal social media sites to see what’s new with the world. I noticed that everyone was sharing his music and it was glorious. It was just this passed Friday that we were singing the praises of his 69th birthday and that he was still working as hard as ever by releasing a new album “Blackstar.” I thought to myself then that he is every bit of the legend that he has built himself to be. The Goblin King was still ruling in his kingdom of music. However, that joy came to an end when I finally saw another post, “RIP David Bowie.” I couldn’t believe what I read. I had to load up the news to see for myself. Sadly, it was true. Here he was working till the end to spread his visions of music to all of us through so many decades.

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Like many around my age we knew very well of David Bowie as The Goblin King. David played this role with so much magic in his character that as a kid, even I wanted to be a Goblin King. How can the bad guy be such a loveable character? The answer is David Bowie.

Through the years (decades) David set the bar so high up when it came to challenging the norm in the music industry. Ziggy Stardust, Major Tom, Gray Clown, The Goblin King, Thin White Duke, the list goes on and on with the characters that he created to tell his story through the music.

He’s even been credited with challenging MTV in their early days asking why the channel was overly white. He even challenged sexuality. On top of all of that, he’s sung with so many greats. Freddie Mercury with Queen, Mick Jagger, Tina Turner, Lenny Kravitz, and Bing freaking Crosby!

It’s hard not to see that David Bowie had a strong influence on my life. It was ok to be different, so long as I owned it. So with that I have to say, thank you David Bowie. Thank you for being a force to be reckoned with. Goodbye.

Also, here’s a picture with David Bowie looking bad ass with some wolves from a few years ago.

Where do I begin?

So my life is completely different from where it was just a year ago. Many things have changed and my life is completely different. I’m most of the way through my fourth year living here on the mainland trying to make things work for myself. I have two adorable kitties to whom are the only thing I come home to. Well aside from my computer. :-P

I’ve been trying to look out toward the future but I have no idea what it has in store for me. At the same time though, I have no idea what to feed it to make it go the way I would hope to make it turn out in my favor. My life is full of hopes and dreams but nothing singularly to focus on. I have visions of many random things I would love to do but no idea which to do or work on. I want to do them all but no idea where to begin.

Do I go back to school?

Do I try to figure it all out on my own?

So many questions but the one thing that I’m thinking of doing is starting to write some fiction. I’ve been inspired lately by a community of fantasy lovers and they have done nothing but spark my love of story. I’ve always been into fantasy story telling as it’s a way for me to disconnect from the world but to write my own is a venture that I have no idea if I can make it happen. I’ve tried before and only got to two pages.

These guys though have totally inspired me to change all of that. It’s just a group of people playing D&D and loving every minute of it. Well until one of them get’s close to death and is in utter panic. They obviously bring a lot of life to the story being voice actors but the way they play with the story they are creating on the fly is absolutely magic. A better way to describe it is that they are performing at the highest level of Improv Theatre but at the same time just playing a game. Each character is played by each player fully based on their character’s backstory and stats. Each player does a wonderful job of being in that character and it just mystifies me and pulls me in even more. The dungeon master (Matt Mercer) does a wonderful job of pulling the whole story together using his knowledge of the game and lore making for an interesting platform for the players to play off of.

I had never really tried to get into Role Playing but I’ve known others who do and I didn’t think I could do it. I just thought it was just too much for me. That’s all changed now. After watching them go at it with such passion, enjoyment and laughter, I could totally do this. It looks like so much fun.

I’ll get on that later but first… I think it’s time to start coming up with ideas for a fiction that I would love to tell people. Wish me luck.

Also, thank you so much to Geek and Sundry for having a beautiful community for me to find out that I’m not alone in my geek-ness. LOL THANK YOU!

Thoughts through words

Questions have plagued my life as of late:

Why is in the world in the state that it’s in?
How can we let it be this way?
Who’s responsible for what has gone wrong?
Why do we care so much for others but do nothing unless it personally effects us?
Why do people complain more than take action?
Why do we let monetary currency dictate our lives?
How can we be one planet?
What steps can we take to make the world united?
When does the fighting stop?
What will it take to teach humanity to do what is right?
Why do we put education behind everything else?

I’m sure this isn’t the extent of the questions on my mind. There is a problem here and it’s the fact that these questions are something that just can’t be answered. I can always get an answer but it’ll never be right. It’ll always be opinion and theory. I believe I’m going to try and answer some of these questions with my own opinions/theories. You maybe asking, “what gives me the right to answer such questions?” I don’t have the right to be the spokesperson for any of it but I am someone who has lost all faith in this existence that is humanity.

Goodbyes are always the hardest

Goodbyes are the hardest thing to deal with in life. Whether they be friends, family, or someone you just met. Goodbye is that one thing that can bid someone a fond farewell on the hopes that you see that person again soon. Maybe someday it’ll be, “Hello.” However, there are times you never get that chance to say goodbye. Today is one of those days for me. I wish it wasn’t so, but the day that I was hoping to never hear has come. My grandma has been the strongest woman I have ever known. Her being gone now is a matter of disbelief for me because she was such a strong Hawaiian woman. She was someone who didn’t take shit from anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I’m so stubborn because of her. You could just tell that she had this amazing strength no one could compare to. In her last years, I no one could see that she grew tired and that strength was subsiding. However, she stayed stubborn anyways. Of the many things I loved about my grandmother was that she didn’t care what anybody thought. She had a strong will with God. God was there for her every step of the way no matter what the situation. She believed if she prayed hard enough God would be there to help you along. I’m glad that she was there to teach me some of the values that she held dear. It hurts so much to write down how I’m feeling right now but I know that in the end it is what she wanted. She was in so much pain the last time I saw her that I could tell she didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I don’t blame her though. She’s lived an amazingly long life.

I just wish I had the chance to say goodbye.

Goodbye Fanny Ki’a’ina-Chong.

Things that I do in a Jenner

 

There are just somethings that I can’t explain. However, being an annoying light I can explain. It’s just fun to be this annoying. Also, Pro-Tip: if the lights have the high ground and you are all bunched up standing there, a light will drop a strike on your ass. That is all :-Pjenner_love

Two years and Counting

So I’ve been in living in California for longer than some people gave me credit for. Truthfully I didn’t think I could do it either but look at me, I’m still here. So long as I got the support of Julia and all her love, things will be going good. I’m surround by great people who appreciate what I do. Having a unique voice for on-air and commercials also help a lot. Still not to happy about the desert but I am making the best of it.

Lately I’ve been looking to come back to web streaming with #shirtlesstuesdays but that hasn’t been very easy with my schedule. Another hurdle is that the site I used to use, “Stickam” is no longer available. The site went under due to funding probably. I stream pretty often on Twitch.tv when I’m playing games but that doesn’t have the same interaction that Stickam did. Ed White once suggested Google Hangouts and I might give it a try but I just wished it would recognize my typical stream settings. Audio Inputs and the like.

Oh wells, not much of an update as I got a lot on my plate to finish but if you want to keep up with my shenanigans then do follow me in the usual areas. Except KIK since someone already stole my username on there. >:-|

Here’s what I’ve shot since I’ve been living in the mainland:

Aloha

What am I doing?

Here I am, sitting on the bowl. The one place where thoughts run amuck. My stomach is a mess and my health? It’s not doing much better. For a bit, my acid reflux was totally getting better but sometimes it really gets me. Lately being a bit more frequent. Yet as much as I try to concern my thoughts on my well being I’m more or less thinking of other things. I just read an article about  conflict diamonds and how it is so in-humane at how people are getting treated. I totally agree that it is so bad at what is happening. Yet I have no idea what I can do about it. Meanwhile, another part of me is suffering with new allergies I never knew I had till I moved up here. Apparently, my sinuses don’t like it windy in the high desert. Too much new shit blowing around in the air fucking me up. At this moment, I can’t stop burping. Most likely due to the tomato sauce for dinner. Acid, acid reflux, I’m sure you get picture. Hence me sitting on the bowl right now. My mind still all over the place, looking for more articles to read finds one about Starbucks. It appears that they are going to start a storefront in Switzerland on their trains. Yeah, so during your commute to work you can be at Starbucks the whole time. Note my mind is totally screwed. Here I am, feeling sick from my nasal cavity to my stomach while people in Africa are suffering from conflict diamonds situations, and people are concerning themselves with getting coffee on a train. Why is my brain all over the place? Maybe the world is just wrong and I’m fine. Well maybe my mind, not my stomach.